I can’t tell you how many times I’ve answered the same, tired questions, over and over again, from misinformed people who have no experience with trans people. I mean, I don’t at all mind answering questions that come from a place of good intentions. That’s not always the case, though. Especially online, where there lives an entire community of boring, predictable evil-doers known collectively as “trolls.” They’re easy to spot. They’re the ones who use obvious trigger words and phrases to try and hook their victims, and then engage them in never-ending circular arguments that generally spiral into slanderous insults.
Trolls deliberately intend to hijack, disrupt, attack, offend, and just generally cause trouble, and their favorite haunts tend to be the comments sections of social media and news sites.
Trolls are pretty easy to handle. Ignore them, and they have no choice but to move on. Don’t feed the trolls has been my mantra lately.
What gets to me, though, are the people who seem to think they’re posing a question or idea to me that I’ve never, ever considered before. Things like, “but what if a kid who is allowed to grow up opposite sex changes their mind later in life? What then?” or, “Don’t you think that maybe you’re encouraging” (or, “causing,” or “forcing,” or “influencing,” or “pushing”) this behavior? Even just a little?”
Basically, any form of, “it’s all your fault.”
And then I get all kinds of variations of, “So if my four-year old tells me she’s a cat, I should just go out and buy her a collar and litter box and call it a day?”
Right. Because comparing someone’s deeply held sense of internal gender with a preschooler’s typical, fluid, imaginary play are just so damn easy to conflate.
People making these comments seem to disregard the fact that my husband and I have been dealing with this issue (and researching it) for over a decade now. Trust me, we’ve already answered all those questions, and we’ve already researched all available options. We’ve already weighed the pros and cons carefully, and we’ve already found that the course of action our family is taking is the best one for our family’s unique situation. Please, feel free to trust us.
Originally published at gendercreativelife.com on June 19, 2018.