Thanks for reading and responding, Faolan! So glad to know I’m in good company on this. Yes, I’ve had that happen as well, where I was planning to drop and go but then got invited in for coffee. Once it was an awkward situation all around, because this lady was so sincere, plus she’d just moved here, didn’t know anyone, and I really didn’t want to come off like a heel. I was like, “sure, I can stay for just a minute,” but “a minute” turned into hours as she never stopped talking and asking questions & advice.

That said, by the time I left (with my child, hours later), I felt like I had done the right thing that day.

Little did I know I had set a precedent. That situation became the expectation of every playdate thereafter, for the entire four years that my child was friends with this other child. Plus, she wanted to get together, just us adults, and “go out” all the time. I was considerably older than her and not into the club scene like she was.

But, that was a long time ago and I haven’t seen or spoken to that lady in forever. I think that’s another part of my frustration — by the time you’ve had three kids and been through this song and dance with so many other parents, you start learning real fast from the get go whether you have a potential blossoming friendship, or just a “friendship” of convenience, one that’s all small talk and no substance. It’s just not worth it.

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Seen in HuffPost, Scary Mommy, etc; heard @ NPR, SiriusXM, TIFO podcast & more. Gender dismantling trailblazer. Political news junkie. TikTok aficionado. Mom.

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