Thanks for reading and responding! And thank you for getting it.
Indeed, people should be allowed — especially in America — to be whatever blend of ‘traditional’ masculine & feminine (or neither) that they know themselves to be, and are.
And yes, you are absolutely correct that society forces them into roles they may not want. Of course our society forces them into gender stereotypes or roles. In fact, we force them into stereotypes & roles the minute we hold ‘gender reveal parties’ in themes like ‘Guns or Glitter,’ ‘Wheels or Heels,’ ‘Stashes or Lashes.’ While cute and fun (I am not trying to put down anyone who has these kind of parties), the deeper implications of such a narrow, gendered world are more troubling.
Is a gender reveal party going to hurt anyone? No. But how much parents and collective society buy into those stereotypes is straddling the line of dangerous. Because when we buy into those stereotypes, we’re rasising a child on nothing but assumption: that he will be a tough guy, that she will be a girly girl.
Many parents are quick to say they’d love their child unconditionally, even if their kid came out as LGBQ or TGNC. If that’s the case, then why are there so many people forced to hide their authentic selves in the closet? I hear from them a lot. Some teens are scared to come out because they’d be kicked out of their homes or sent to some type of conversion therapy. Some trans women in their 60s have only just come out after playing the role of cis male, in a heterosexual marriage for more than half their lives. Others choose to come out as gay instead, when they know deep down that label doesn’t quite feel right, but either they don’t have the knowledge or resources available to trans people, or feel that their family would accept a gay person better than they’d accept a trans person.