Thank you for reading, and for your kind words.
I’m so sorry to hear of your struggles, and the way gender dysphoria has reared its ugly head in your life.
You, like so many of my own friends around my age (mid 40’s) also learned to “just deal with it.” Either that, or they had parents who tried to beat it out of them. It hurts my heart to even think about it, but we just didn’t have the amounts of literature & research back then that we do now.
But the notion of it being “too late?” It’s never too late. I have a friend who transitioned in her 70s. Though assigned male at birth and raised male, she always knew it didn’t feel right. But she dealt with it, even at times when she was on the verge of suicide.
She entered a cisgender, heterosexual marriage and had kids. Her wife died a few years ago after a battle with cancer, and she became suicidal again because the gender dysphoria reached an all time high. She finally gave herself permission to transition, and she has never felt better. Several years later, she continues loving her life fully now as her authentic self, and has found another partner who brings her joy.
Hugs to you.