Oh, Paul. (sigh). You’ve attempted to take on the wrong people here. Not only am I a lifelong resident of North Carolina, home of HB2 (which you referenced) and “HB2.0,” a.k.a. HB142, who knows everything there is to know about these transphobic bills, but also, I’m the mom of a transgender teen, assigned male at birth, but female since they could first verbalize it — in their own way — at just under three years old.

I know my stuff, especially on the two topics of NC politics and transgender issues.

But damnit, it’s late. I want to go to bed. I’ve been fighting for my kid’s right to live a life that isn’t plagued with microaggressions like yours, microaggressions that come from ignorance and assumptive opinions that are presented as if to be fact, microaggressions that become macroaggressions, which then lead to violence and brutality. I’ve been fighting for my kid’s right to live a life that doesn’t end in suicide. I’ve been fighting this uphill battle for years now. I don’t do it for fun. I have two older kids — a cis male and a cis female. I’m tired.

I definitely don’t have time or energy to educate all of you who come to the comments sections of these pieces to irresponsibly spew ignorance and attempt to speak with authority on a topic you vastly misunderstand.

Please, do yourself a favor and start reading the work of trans writers. Just read. Don’t worry about having the last word. Just read. Just absorb. Sit with the discomfort — if it comes — and just let it be.

Hang out with trans people. Don’t know any? Well, if your mission is truly to “promote truth and learn other worldviews,” then start by hanging out — or better yet, training to become a volunteer — at your local LGBT Center. Speak with any of the homeless teens who spend their alloted 2 free hours a day at the Center because they were kicked out of home for being trans, and this is the only place they can go that’s safe, the only place to get reprieve from the 99 degree temps.

Try just listening. That’s really the only way you’ll ever learn other worldviews. I know because I had to learn this lesson myself.

Just read. Just listen. And don’t worry — if you still have questions, you haven’t read enough. All your questions will be answered when you’ve read, studied, or talked to enough trans people. Peace.

Written by

Seen in HuffPost, Scary Mommy, etc; heard @ NPR, SiriusXM, TIFO podcast & more. Gender dismantling trailblazer. Political news junkie. TikTok aficionado. Mom.

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