I would say this is most likely just how gender dysphoria is manifesting in you. And though it may not feel like it, I know for a fact that there are so many others out there who share the exact same thoughts as you. I hear from them all the time. Wondering if you’ve connected w/other writers from GftT? Namely: AJ Clauss, Ellie Rebecca, Drew Lor? There are many others too! Thank you so much for your voice, and this powerful piece, W.E. Massoud.