Deep Diving Into Corporate Jargon

Unpacking the lingo of corporate speak, which, if we didn’t have to use, would definitely yield us more bandwidth

Photo by Sebastian Herrmann on Unsplash

Ever since I discovered the cult classic movie Office Space, a simple but hilarious film that satirizes the experience of being just another inconsequential cog in the corporate wheel of America — overworked, underpaid, and underappreciated — I knew I had a kindred spirit. I’d always appreciated Mike Judge’s specific brand of adolescent-like humor, but this movie proved I wasn’t alone in my hatred of heartless corporate euphemisms.

Maybe I inherited my distaste for corporate lingo from my Dad, an artistic man blessed with a powerful, captivating voice and a natural talent for live broadcasting. He was a gatekeeper of the albums, a disc jockey in the 1960s, before continuing on to become a prominent local news anchor. But unfortunately, by the late 80s he’d been relegated down to more “creative” positions. Mostly producing. A behind-the-scenes person, if you will. This all happened when a younger, fresh-faced college crew came in, eager to replace long-standing careers and job titles with more quirky, “fun,” (read: ambiguous) job titles.

Dad often bemoaned “political correctness,” but this was during an era when the phrase meant something different than it does today. Back then it was used more in the realm of self-critical satire. Especially in regards to media and journalism, and their adoption of certain language use policies, most of which seemed to go out of their own way to circumvent any semblance of bias.

Now, the term “political correctness” has been hijacked and weaponized by some of the more extreme folks within larger privileged or majority groups — the same who don’t tend to experience daily microaggressions. They seem to think the mere act of trying not to be an offensive jerk towards those in minority groups is excessive overkill. “Who in their right mind would get offended over that?” they ask, every time they perceive PC language as somehow taking a right away from them. “Everybody’s gotta be a victim now!” they’ll cry — without a hint of irony — failing to realize they’ve done a bang-up job creating a victim mentality of their very own.