Why we’re so resistant to it, and why we should definitely “check it”

A hot topic and label that’s accused of being insulting, presumptive, condescending (and even “racist”), ‘white privilege’ is possibly one of the most polarizing terms for white Americans today. Yet, it’s not a slur; it’s simply a fact — backed with research and statistics. To think of it otherwise is to vastly misunderstand the concept, and moreover, to outright dismiss an opportunity to foster empathy. If ‘white privilege’ is not pejorative, then why are we so resistant to acknowledging its presence in the first place?

Image for post
Image for post
Image by WikiImages from Pixabay

This sentiment (among many other variations) is just one example of a common misconception that’s perpetuated and echoed every day in white mainstream America. Good, decent, upstanding Christian people with good hearts, who all look something like me, spend some amount of time wondering what it is that black people want from them, while at the same time, claiming to not have a racist bone in their bodies. …

But finally, some light is breaking through

Spill the T is a monthly-ish newsletter brought to you by Gender from the Trenches, a publication on Medium that amplifies voices from the trans community. To have Spill the T sent straight to your inbox, you can sign up at the end of this newsletter — one click! (And we don’t spam. Promise.)

Image for post
Image for post
screengrab from HRC YouTube video, The Human Rights Campaign Endorses Joe Biden for President 2020

Even though not all of our readers (or writers) live here in the United States, I think it’s safe to say this year has been difficult — on many fronts. Here in America, the 2020 election was a huge source of fear and exhaustion, especially for the trans community. And though we’re finally able to celebrate a Biden/Harris victory, many of us still feel like we’re on high alert, 24/7. …

Let’s talk about what you’re *really* worried about instead

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

I hear you, fellow parents and countless other adults. You pose this question to me a lot, and for the record, I want it known that I fully agree with you, on at least this one point. So let me say it loud and clear: wearing dresses or playing with dolls should be okay whether you have girl or boy parts. Period. The end.

Unfortunately, our society isn’t quite there yet.

My three kids all defied traditional gender roles and stereotypes to some degree. My oldest, a cishet male (now age 20) played with dolls as a child, and sometimes proudly wore a tutu while doing so. My next oldest, a cishet female (now 19) played with her big brother’s toy guns, and for a long while, she hated wearing anything girly. …

The answer is… politics in the era of reality TV show presidents

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by C Drying on Unsplash

Setting: Sometime in the not-too-distant future; on set recording of TV game show “Jeopardy.”

[end commercial break]

Alex Trebek: Welcome back! As you all know, our categories tonight are in the fun domain of portmanteaus. Good luck; here we go!

Contestant 1: (a quiet, unassuming librarian who loves knitting and cats and is hopelessly stereotypical) I’ll take Shakespearean portmanteaus for $200, Alex.

Trebek: Answer: Shakespeare writes a tragicomedy concerning the rise and fall of an American fruit drink beverage chain during the presidency of this modern aspiring tyrant.

Contestant 1: Who is… Orange Julius Caesar?

Trebek: He’s the one! Go ahead!

Contestant 1: Let’s move over to political portmanteaus for $200, please Alex.

Trebek: Here’s the clue: A brand of populism — perhaps jingoism — with a tinge of religious bigotry and white supremacy, all lumped together and masked under the false pretense of…

The circus sideshow has overstayed its welcome. It’s time for the Ringmaster to exit stage right.

Image for post
Image for post
Image by Lisette Brodey from Pixabay

Breaking news headlines are coming like the head of a fire, fast and fevered; one can hardly expect to keep up anymore. But with a Trump presidency, did we expect anything less? As I sit here working, the latest coverage is all about Donald and Melania Trump testing positive for COVID-19, which, kind of feels like karma is finally rearing her angry head.

On the other hand, with the circus-like political climate and smoke & mirrors sideshows of the 45th administration, it seems normal to speculate if this news is even true at all. It’s a true testament to the current state of “abnormal-ness” when such a ploy is plausible. That it may just be the Republicans last, desperate campaign strategy, as they struggle to somehow save face in the wake of Trump’s unbelievably embarrassing debate performance. Which turned our country into a global laughingstock. On the GOPs watch. …

Some days I get messages from people whose backstories knock my socks off. Today, that came in the form of an email from Claire Michelle Music. At the bottom she included a link to her recent photo shoot (video below). If you’re in need of a smile, check it out. It sure made me smile — always does — to see anyone living so authentically, indeed, thriving, despite the hardships they’ve had to endure.

Please watch til the end to see Claire’s simple but hugely important message regarding representation of trans people in the media.

Claire is also the most recent writer joining Gender from the Trenches, a publication I started here on Medium for the purpose of amplifying voices from the trans community — and I’ve had the good fortune of being able to add lots of great writers and storytellers over the past year. …

Mind of Martie

It’s time to reboot the blog, y’all

Image for post
Image for post

If you happen to follow me here on Medium, and if you’ve visited my profile page lately, then you’re one of the few who’ve (maybe?) noticed that my profile page looks… different. That is, different from what loyal Medium-ites have long known as the profile page (or writer page). For about the past four years (longer, in some of your cases), that’s been the clean look of a simple white background, the writer’s name in black near the top left, bio underneath, picture to the right, and “credentials” just below.

So why does my current profile page look different from that sleek, easy Medium profile that we’ve all come to know and love? …

Mind of Martie Newsletter

What’s on my mom brain today

Image for post
Image for post

(Among other hypocrisies highlighted throughout the RNC)

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by History in HD on Unsplash

It really should be renamed “Festivus: the airing of grievances” — instead of the Republican National Convention. Especially compared to the Democratic National Convention. Watching the first ever, all virtual DNC in mid-August was like a balm, a healing salve for the soul of this nation. As I tuned in to my TV over the course of four nights, my patriotic energy was stirred for the first time in a long time. A renewed sense of hope washed over me — that maybe, just maybe, we can (and will) collectively do better this time around.

In stark contrast, the more recent RNC failed to energize at all. It had the vibe of a hyped up, watered down reality TV spectacle, plus the odd familiarity of state-controlled media you’d expect to see somewhere like North Korea. And really, it was more circus sideshow than reality TV show, featuring unimaginable offenses and mile-high hypocrisies; a parade of caricaturish clowns hellbent on soaring extremism to new heights. …

Let’s debunk some myths!

Image for post
Image for post
Image by Tumisu from Pixabay

Hey, you! Thank you for being here. Thank you for tapping on this title and deciding to read just one more line. And another. If you’re willing to be here and you’ve come out of genuine curiosity, I applaud you for being an open-minded person. Maybe you’re attempting to learn and understand something you don’t already. Or maybe you’re an expert on this topic. Either way, I welcome you.

That said, I want to make it clear up front that I am not transgender; I’m only the mom of a trans teen. I’m cisgender — the opposite of transgender. But being the parent of a child who’s in a gender identity minority (trans non-binary) has led to my writing about, involvement with, and advocacy for the trans community in general. …


Martie Sirois

Seen in HuffPost, Scary Mommy, etc; heard @ NPR, SiriusXM, TIFO podcast & more. Gender dismantling trailblazer. Political news junkie. TikTok aficionado. Mom.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store